Ur dimples wont win me back this time u sorry excuse of a man!!!

note: dear readers (if i have any), please dont waste ur time reading this post. this post is one of my many 'mlepaskn-geram-dan-perasaan-yg-tbuku-di-hati' post. instead of wasting ur precious time here better u guys use it to spend on other useful activities ie memasak, membasuh, merumput, bercucuk tanam, berkebun, mengecat rumah dan sebagainya. still wanna read this? suit urself. dont say i dont warn ya.

he came back
after all these years only now he came back??
n on a day before my bday even? wth..
him n his fcukin dimples juz waltzed back into my life
n acted like nothin ever happen
like he never go anywhere for these past 5 years
like he's alwiz here with me all this while
like he never leave..

who did he thinks he is huh?
to come n go whenever he wish.
does he think i dont have a life beside him?
does he think he's the center of my universe or something?

how dare he?
how dare he to think that after all that he had done he can come back to me
how dare he to think that after all those heartache he caused i can forgive him juz like that
how dare him to do what he did
how dare he to treat me like this
how dare he, the ungrateful filth!

what happened to him?
what happened to that guy that i used to know?
who used to alwiz been there for me thru thick n thin
who used to be my shoulder to cry on
who used to be my clown n cheerleader
who had climbed up that walkway's roof in his kain pelikat to retrieve my fallen glasses
who liked to stare at me when we studied together n shamelessly told me that he had a strong feeling that he's gonna marry me someday
what happened to him?
coz the guy standing in front of me right now is a stranger
n i dont even know him at all

the most surprising thing is,
i dont hate him
yes u heard me, i dont hate him
nor do i still love him
n come to think about it, i dont think i had ever love him before
at least not the kinda love u felt for a lover
what i had felt for him last time was juz love towards a bf
bf as in bestfriend not boyfriend
n also a generous feelings of pity n sympathy
yes i pitied him
the sad n needy being that was him 5 years ago
so different from the charming n lovable guy that was him when i 1st met him

i dont hate him
i dont love him
n that's the worse thing
why? bcoz now i dont have any feelings left towards him
no hate, no love, no nothin, nada
it's juz hollow, n emptiness
n that is the worse feeling to have on anybody ever
when all u feel for somebody is juz emptiness
that means u have stopped to care for them
n when u stop caring meaning it's the end of their existence in ur precious life
the end. fullstop.

last words for him..
so long n goodbye
n please dont ever come back
coz that special place u had in my heart?
it's gone.
n i'm planning to give it to someone else
who's more worthy of me than u ever did
so take that sorry a** of urs n berambus!

no wait!!
i changed my mind
u can stay where u are
coz i'm not gonna give u another chance to leave me again
this time it's my turn
my turn to leave u
u can stay where u are
n see me walk away instead
yes, this is me walking away from u
so long a******!!!


footnote: i now realize that i'm not evil enough to use extreme swearwords. i had to think more than twice to even include all those swearwords u read above. what can i say, deep down i'm still a pretty nice gal. ^_^