Wednesday, April 30, 2008

a day of reminiscing..

my horoscope said 2day is d day 4 reminiscing. so dats wut i'm gonna do. but dun get ur hope high. its not much of a reminiscing juz wanna recall a few things dat happened 2 me dis month n dis time of d year last year.

last year around dis time (actually its in middle of april last year around my younger bro birthday last year) my family was being tested wif sumthin dat we never tot wud eve happen in our family. its happened 2 my bro actlly (details of wut actlly happened will b kept private n confidential, soree) d thing dat happened is quite bad (judging by our family standard). since dis is d 1st time such thing happened in our family my bro dunno wut 2 do. so he turned 2 me. its still amazed me dat i'm d one dat he 1st tot of in time of need. altho he's my only bro but dis bro of mine is quite diffrnt frm most bros (i'm comparing dis 2 my friends' bros). he's a stoic kinda guy n he dun like 2 talk much but he's not pendiam actlly. wif his friends he's kinda a cool guy. he's in a band (metallingkup.. wut a name). he plays d guitar pretty well too. but when its come 2 family he's a bit secretive. he kept wateve happenin in his life 2 himself. rarely sharing them wif us his family. so when i got dat call dat mornin when he confide in me d prob he's facing, altho i'm shocked but i still feel terharu dat he would think of me in those kinda time. no he didnt call our mum or dad or his bestfriends, but he called me. so i did wut any other sensible (i am sensible ok) older sis wud do, be there 4 him thruout those horrible time, give my full support 2 him, lend my shoulders 4 him 2 cry on (literally) n donate my air mata 4 him without eve askin 4 repayment. haish baiknye la aku. kakak sape la ni.. haha.

thank God we pull thru those time n i like 2 think dat is partly bcoz we hv each other (altho truth is many other factors contributed 2 dat hehe). n our relationship has improved since then. i'm still d 1st person in our family 2 nou wateve happen in his life n he's more comfortable sharing his prsonal life wif me rather than anybody else. even our mum use me as an org tgh if she eve wanna nou anythin bout her anak bujang sorg tu. yes we still bicker n fight n disagree on mostly anythin frm time 2 time but at d end of d day he's still my luvly n only bro (yes i said u're luvly if u're eve readin dis u big jerk) n i'm still his luvly (of coz i'm luvly, again u big jerk) n only big sis (i'm not big. its juz a figure of speech. hihi). n i hope our relationship will continue like dis until we're both wrinkling n shrinking wif age. once again, happy 24th birthday my bro n i hope after wut happenned u'll b wiser in evry journey u will take in ur life. n yes i luv u regardless of how big a jerk u r. (i do like makin public confession dont i?) haha.

movin on 2 a lighter note, early dis month 1 of my biggest dream is granted which is i wanna prsonally meet 1 of my fav bands.. frequency cannon. yay!! dis all happened on..

date: april 6, 2008
venue: one utama
occasion: charity show for err.. sumthin or another

d fc guys + 2 additional members; we wanna b backup singers haha.

finally after all dis time admiring them frm afar i finally got d chance 2 meet them (thx 2 rin who tirelessly pujuking me 2 go wif her. hehe) d best thing is, not juz we had d chance 2 see them prformed but we oso got d chance 2 meet them n talk 2 them prsonally. sigh.. overall, those guys r a walkin n talkin bunch of energy. they r so friendly n cool n patiently tolerating our starstruckness (huh?) of meeting them. kuachee juz being a clown dat he is. azrul is warm n cute like a doraemon dat he is. yuri d ensem boy is so nice n askin n valueing (again huh?? so bad la my english) our opinion of their debut album. (which is a fun listen so 4 those out there who havent get ur pretty hands on it, go grab it now!! guys of fc if u eve read dis i'm doing a free promotion 2 show my support 2 u. haha) n yuri oso bringin wif him his luvly gf whom is a tv prsonality. n dino.. wat can i say, dino is juz being.. well dino (which is good i guess in certain circumstances). he's one hell of a shy guy so lets juz cut him sum slack ok. soree dino. haha. n he oso bringing along wif him his gf whom is not a tv prsonality. haha. (quoting dino.. 'she's juz a normal human, no one famous. juz d way i like it.') sigh...

they played 3 set of songs (supposely only 2 but d crowd yelled 4 an encore). their set was not rely up 2 their standard actlly. they had 2 mellow down their set a bit due 2 d event n venue of dat show. a tom-less gig as dino would put it. d crowd dat show up pon was not rely their usual crowd. (i think d only peeps dats rely into them present there is juz me n rin. even those guys seem surprised at us. huhu) all in all, dat was a once in a lifetime experience la. i dun think i'll eve gonna get any chance like dat eve again. so i'm carefully saving d details of those sweet2 memories in sumplace safe in my heart. hope i dun suffer any memory loss anytime in d future. hehe.

i think dats all d reminiscing dat i'm gonna do dis time. if i remember any more important event in my life dat i wanna share wif d public i'll juz post another entry ok. till then. sayonara!!

hope n dream: d insanely impossible desire of mine

hey there all u beautiful ppl!! been a while since i last membebel here. dunno wut 2 write la. dun feel like writing bout everyday life like sum ppl do (no offense 2 dis kinda peeps. hey its individual choice isnt it). i only write when i got sumthin 2 share (either gud or bad) or sum unresolved issues i need 2 let go, well depend on d mood la.

dis time i wanna talk bout fate n wut God has in store 4 us. as a muslim we r taught 2 accept fate as it is. coz evrythin happen 4 a reason. stiap yg blaku ade hikmahnya. but we’re still encourage 2 pray for our fates n future or wateve we wish 4 in our lives. dats wut i alwiz do. pray dat Allah will give me d future dat i hope for n pray 4 His guidance in evrythin dat i do. ok there’s dis wish dat i’ve been praying 4, 4 quite sum time. i sumhow hv set my heart on sumthin/sumone (u guess wut 4 urself). i dunno how dis happen, when it happen but wut i nou is dat its a feeling dat i’ve nvr xperience ever in my life b4. my intuition is so strong bout it dat sumtime it scares d light out of me coz d truth is wat i’m feeling is sumthin dat is so impossible n laughable 2 d masses. but deep down my hard-headed heart juz wont accept dat fact n still continue 2 believe dat there’s nuthin impossible in dis world as long as God permitted it 2 happen.

so i did wut i do best. pray 4 guidance. wat i’ve been praying is i hope God will show me whether wat i’m feelin is rite or wrong. if its rite i hope dat He will open a way 4 me 2 achieve it n if its not i pray dat He will close my heart n steer me far away frm it. but wat happen 2 me is still hard 4 me 2 believe. almoz evry wish dat i pray 4 in dis case is granted by Him. although lotsa things happenned dat make me wanna give up on dis hope but alwiz He will show a way dat make me keep my faith in it. i rely dun hv any ideas wut He has in store 4 me. now dat hope still seems far-fetched 2 me but ironically i nvr give up on it. i still harbour faith dat sumhow, sumday dis dream will b a reality.

u must rely wanna nou wut my dream rely is mustn’t u? i’m afraid i cant tell u bout it. coz if i tell u i’m sure u will end up rolling n laughing on d floor coz wut i hope 4 is sumthin dat is so preposterous 2 evrybody except me. wut keep me believing in my dream is dat sumhow God seem 2 kinda bless my dream (mebbe it juz me yg prasan but still..) coz evrytime i feel like giving up He keep on creating hope n faith in me in evry lil things dat happenned in my life. when i pray so dat He will keep me away frm my dream, he will make a way so dat i’m closer 2 it. When i tot i had lost all hope in it He will amazingly create a way 2 keep d fire in my faith burning. how chould i not trust in Him, in my dream, u tell me? dats wut keep troubling my mind everyday until now. whther i shud follow my heart n keep believing dat one day my dream will come true although it seem so ridiculously insane or shud i juz give up all hopes n concentrate on sumthin dat is more possible 2 achieve. waddya think?