Thursday, June 5, 2008

What's on a cat's mind...

another things u shud nou bout yours truly is dat i'm a cat person. cats r one of my biggest weaknesses (among fastfood joints, public speaking, n balloons. hihi) i currently have 15 cats (whom i call my babies) n d number is still counting. i melt at d sight of any cats even alleycats (or fondly known as kucing kurap 2 us d ever gracious malaysian). i croon at them. i babytalk wif them. ^_^ i missed them like crazee evrytime i had 2 leave them. -_- i bawled my eyes out for days evrytime any of my babies died. T_T i even daydream dat when i finally got married, i want all my cats (dress in cute outfits) 2 b my bestman/bridesmaid in my wedding. bottom line, i LURVE cats wif a capital L.

one day while petting my cats amidst their purring n meowing, i wonder wut exactly r on their minds. i nou they have feelings too but i wonder wut r they feeling really. do they nou dat i luv them, do they luv me as much, r they happy being my cats, did i do enuff 4 them, etc etc. so letting my imagination wander, i imagine mayb dis is wuts they r thinking... hmm...

The cats diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and good smell of those things they considered foods. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The hens and roosters are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They obviously are half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

....err on 2nd thoughts i hope my cats r not thinking like dat!


TeIyA DrUmzAdDiCt said...

whoaa... sis halie... i never thought u cud read a cat's mind... ade sixth sense penye.. fuyoo.. cube try tanye incik belon punya woofie wat he's doing... bleh la tu summon si find out wat's going on in the owner's crib..

Halie said...

haha. gud idea. i shud make dat kitty my eyes n ears kn. tiap2 ari die bley submit report kt i. in return i'll hook him up (d cat i mean not d owner) wif 1 of my gurl cats. haha.